A note to an unknown person

Am I wrong? Am I wrong to love pain? The thrill it gives me? The release? The blood? Is it all wrong? Is my escape all a lie? A lie the razor tells me, as it glides agents my skin? As the stinging from my wrist collides with the yearning for him in my heart. And the gurgle of my stomach as it hasn’t had any food for days, as I try to be thin, to be perfect, to be pretty, for him. So that maybe one day he will love me. The way he says he does, and he will stay with me forever. And we will be happy. Or is that all a lie too? Am I just a lie? My whole existence? Am I just lying to everyone? Or maybe just myself? What if im just and empty space? If I died tonight would anyone rember me? Or am I just another empty desk at school? Do they even see me when they walk in? would they cry if I dissapered? Or would they just go one like nobody was ever there in the first place?

a note to my ex

Let me start this by telling you, I HATE WHO YOU HAVE BECOME! You used to be the sweetest, niceties and most amazing guy I known, but scene we broke up you have changed so much. I mean I don’t even know you anymore! And the worst part is, I still love the man you used to be. But this new guy, there’s no words to tell you how much I despise him, which makes me miss the old you even more. I still cant stop thinking of that last day we spent together, it was to amazing. When im with you, or the person you used to be, I actually felt “pretty” and “loved.” But now, I feel like shit, couse I know I can never get that guy back. And no matter who I date or who I fall in love with, ill never forget how I loved you. and I know you will never find another girl that loves you more than I did, I put up with your shit to the point where it just about broke me, but I stayed, you wanna know why? Couse I knew I needed you, and I would never find a guy that makes me as happy as you did. When you left, something in me snaped, All I could think about was you, your laugh, your smile, your smell, your lips, but none of that mattered, couse I would never have that back, you loved her, you lied to me!